Annual Political Theater - Instant Impressions

Now Playing: The 2008 State of the Union address

Our annual exercise in cheesy political theater is under way, and I'm here to provide some initial impressions.

Once upon a time I'd go through the text of SotU addresses line-by-line and take them apart, but it's long since become clear that that is a colossal waste of time and threat to sanity. Better to do some more generalized observations - plus the task of posting here while watching will make anything more in-depth impossible.

First off, there's the Grand Entrance, in which camera-whores Congressional members line up along the aisle and, as the Cabinet and President pass, they struggle to grab hands, pat backs, and most importantly, get their smiling mugs on camera - including the ones who hate the President's guts and who have never given him the time of day, much less cooperation on vital issues. Maybe they had a sudden change of heart.

- The President just announced his full-on attack on earmarks, and Herr Pelosi looks like she's fighting back tears...; Speaking of Pelosi: If she slides any farther to the right to get better camera position she'll be in Cheney's lap...

- Fast-forward to education: Some proposal to help children get better grades, but not a peep about...getting government out of education. Which means: Status Quo Pablum;

- A call to improve trade with a number of South American countries and South Korea - clearly a veiled proposition to compete against China head-to-head...

- The rundown of energy proposals, and Pelosi sits motionless during applause for nuclear power, the cleanest and most technologically-advanced source of raw energy available. An eco-fascist to the end...

- Oh, a cut to Hillary: She's got a weird, dreamy look on her face, and it's hard to avoid the assumption that she's daydreaming about one day being in Bush's place. Maybe when she grows up?

- Now that's strange... the Republican side of the aisle is on its feet applauding advances in stem cell technology, and the Democrat-Socialists are motionless...

- D'OH! They're showing their unanimous approval of Bush's idiotic, Medieval proposal to ban "buying, selling, patenting or cloning of human life." Just what an emerging, vital and potentially history-altering technology needs - government stomping on its economic component at square one...

- Anybody keeping an eyeblink count on Pelosi? It went crazy when Bush read the line about "evil people who despise freedom and hate America." Hmmm...

- Ahh, "Our military and civilians in Iraq...deserve the gratitude of the whole nation." Can nauseating, self-serving hypocrisy get any worse than those contemptible Democrat pacifists jumping to their feet after that line? Do they think we haven't been keeping tabs on their behavior? Arrrrrghh...

- Funny, they're all sitting motionless after Bush's call on Congress "to fully fund our troops." Hmph. Now I'm all confused...

- Still on Iraq... Interesting but in no way surprising to see the further reactions of the aforementioned Democrat-Socialist hypocrites members; nothing new from the President - 'likely he's reasserting his policy on that country with as in-your-face an attitude as he can muster, which is to say: not much...

- Uh-oh...talk of "compassion" and the "call of our conscience" - not a good combination to be hearing from a government official. Which means we're moving into a litany of welfare programs?

- We oppose genocide in Sudan and support freedom in Cuba (tick!tock!tick!tock!,) Zimbabwe, Belarus and Burma (Rambo - go see it, if for no other reason than to tweak the sensibilities of Hollywood's leftists.) That's all good...

- "Fight against global hunger" and "humanitarian assistance" and "education initiatives..." Yeah, let's internationalize American welfare, that's the ticket. Sheesh...

- He's wrapped it up, surprisingly with no smarmy and overt religiosity - rather with a decided focus on liberty as a beacon of hope. So...why did he wait until his last SotU speech for that?

- More copious theatrical hand-pumping, back-patting and autograph-scamming, from both plausible members and blatant hypocrites. *sigh* Could future productions limit camera coverage to the actual speech? Unlikely.

Bottom line: Pretty standard GW Bush fare - the only standout moment was when he basically declared war on "earmarks," something that, again, should have shown up at least five years ago. Never better than late, as the GOP "leadership" would say. Or something.

We can be fairly certain, unfortunately, that aside from his promised vetoes - assuming they actually, finally show up - his sudden conversion to fiscal responsibility won't amount to much in the way of government downsizing.

'Guess Rudy'll have to tackle it.